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The Danger Zone

The Secret Language of Cats

Secret Agent Cat


Have you heard of Project Acoustic Kitty? During the height of the Cold War, the CIA’s science and technology directorate undertook a variety of projects, some of which have become notorious for their cruelty towards humans. Project Acoustic Kitty was not much better. Operatives sought to surgically implant listening aids into a cat and train it to suppress hunger.  This Jason Bourne-like kitty would then be deployed as a spy on Russian embassies and other targets, hopefully yielding useful information.

Unfortunately, the first cat to leave the program was hit by a taxi shortly after being released by its CIA handlers. Shortly thereafter, the program was cancelled after being deemed too impractical, despite five years and $15 million being expended into the program. As we know, cats are happier when they are left to their own devices (and when they’re not being experimented on).


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