Ask Lyle – These Feet Were Made For Attacking

Ask Lyle is our weekly cat-to-cat advice column from Modern Cat (and ridiculously outspoken gentleman), Lyle. Submit your questions to asklyle@moderndogmagazine.com, and he will be happy to answer them. Don't forget to include a photo of the questioning cat so that we can post it with the advice!

You can also follow Lyle's adventures on Twitter and Instagram, @lylestagram. 

Dear Lyle,

I have recently moved from the original house I met my new family in to a small apartment with my human and her boyfriend. I like her boyfriend, I really do! He's a lot like me, but I quite enjoy attacking his feet at night–is it wrong for me to love it so much? I attack her feet as well but mostly his, he goes all funny when I attack them :D. Are there any other fun things I can find to play with on my human dude?

-Adventurous Finn

Dear Attacking Finn,

Sounds like you are having a fun time adjusting to your new space! It is so fun when a new person comes in and we get to test their patience, isn't it? I have a brother who absolutely LOVES attacking twitchy night-time feet (or are they mice scurrying around, begging to be pounced on?). And while it can be fun for a little while, eventually the human who belongs to the feet gets fed up with it. The best advice I have for the human is to try to keep his feet as still as possible, so that they aren't so enticing to you. Putting an extra blanket over the feet is another way to help stave off the attacks, because they'll be harder for you to see and the blanket will dampen the blow.

Finn, If you can cover your eyes for just a second now, I just need to tell your mom something private. Eyes covered? No peeking!

Finn's Mom, you might also want to make sure you keep Finn's claws well trimmed, so that he doesn't do as much damage to your BF's feet when the inevitable attacks occur. But please don't tell him I told you to do that. I want to be his friend.

Ok, Finn, you can open your eyes again. We were just planning a surprise for you. As to the second part of your question, there are many other parts of your mom's boyfriend that you can find to play with! Try sitting on his chest while he sleeps and staring into his face! Or put your little wet nose in his ear! Simon's Cat has some more great ideas, too! Srsly, though, as long as you cuddle up with him once or twice, he will probably forgive any other problem behaviours. It's clear your momma loves you a lot, and the fact that you wrote in shows that you want to make it work with your new extended family. 

All the best, and thanks for writing in!

– Lyler

Do you have a question for Lyle? Give him a shout at asklyle@moderndogmagazine.com!