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Ask Lyle – My Human is Obsessed with Me

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Ask Lyle is our weekly cat-to-cat advice column from Modern Cat (and ridiculously outspoken gentleman), Lyle. Submit your questions to asklyle@moderndogmagazine.com, and he will be happy to answer them. Don't forget to include a photo of the questioning cat so that we can post it with the advice!

You can also follow Lyle's adventures on Twitter and Instagram, @lylestagram. 

Dear Lyle,

I am a 6 year old gentleman from a family of four–two cats and two humans.  Ever since I was young I've noticed that one of the humans, Mom, seems to take a lot of pictures of me and my sister.  I can never lie twisted on my back (perfectly relaxed) without the *click* *click* of the camera going off.  I mean, I get it, I'm adorable, but sometimes I would like to sleep for 5 minutes without interruption, you know?  And it's not just innocent sleep voyeurism either.  The other day I caught her taking a picture of me licking my…well, it's not important what.  The fact is I'm quite sure she proceeded to send this undignified photo to my aunt without so much as asking my permission (which I would surely not have given!).  Please advise.

Sincerely,

Baffled Bolivar

Dear Picture-perfect Boli,

Oh boy, can I relate to this question. The fact of the matter is that humans are obsessed with us, and the constant interruptions you are talking about are just one facet of that fascination. I would advise you to try to tone down your adorableness, but having seen the photo you submitted with this question, I can understand if that isn't an option for you. How skilled are you at using your paws like human hands? You could attempt to get a little payback by stealing your Mom's phone and snapping a few pictures of her to hold as an insurance policy against future exploitation. I am sure she does ridiculous things sometimes (my own Mom often dances while she cleans, and she looks like an utter fool).

Barring a retaliatory camera attack, I don't know that there are any great solutions to your problem. We cats have a certain responsibility to be absolutely adorable at all times, and our humans are just doing their job by documenting and sharing this gift using that warm box I love to sit on (I think it is called the Intern Ette – how quaint!). I wish you all the luck in the world in dealing with your Momma. She may be insane, but it sounds like she is a pretty big fan of you, which is not a bad deal.

Thanks for writing in!

– Lyle   


Check out previous Ask Lyle columns!

A Cat's Sixth Sense from Elroy

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